The difference between a dog owner and a non-dog owner

Rocco ate a $20 bill off the table on Wednesday.

Some things never change.

I know it was my fault. I left the cash on the table because I was going to the bank. It was there for maybe 5-minutes. I had several one dollar bills in the pile as well, but they did not attract Rocco's taste for the finer things in life.
When I discovered the remains of the $20, only half of it had been eaten, and the remaining part still had serial numbers on it.

So I took it to the bank anyway.

This is the true, unedited version of our conversation.

Me: Hi. I only have part of this bill, but the serial number is still on it...can I still deposit it?

Teller: (Brightly) I'm so sorry. You have to have all the pieces. Do you have the other part of this bill?

Me: (Sheepishly) Umm...I my dog ate it.

Teller: (Brightly) Well can you get the other half from him?

Me: (Confused) Umm...maybe in a few days?

Tell: (Brightly) A few days? Can't you get it now?

Me: Umm...it will probably be in the back yard in a few days, but if the snow comes, I might not find it until Springtime.

Teller: (Brightly) Springtime? That's just silly! Bring it back today and I will credit your account!

Me: Umm...I don't think you understand. The money will turn up when Rocco, umm, ...poops.

Teller: (Silence), then...
Teller: (Confusion), then...
Teller: (Shock) then...

Teller: (Horror) OH MY GOSH! YOU CAN'T BRING THAT MONEY IN HERE! We will NOT be able to credit you account!

That's what I thought.