My guard dog

When Rocco was a puppy, he would lay on the kitchen floor and watch me while I cooked dinner or did the dishes. He was my little protector, watching my every move.

These days, hanging with me in the kitchen is still a hobby of his, but now its more about napping than guarding.


My guard dog has become a kitchen slacker.
Unless of course a piece of food hits the floor. Then he can't move fast enough.
He does have his priorities, you know.

Napping with Rocco

Rocco LOVES to nap with me. And when he finds a comfortable position on the bed, he lets out the sweetest sigh, like "life is good". It melts my heart.
Unfortunately, Rocco is a bed hog.
More like a bed elephant.
If he even THINKS I am going to bed, he will rush past me to try to stake his claim on the bed. And of course he wants to sleep on MY side of the bed, on top of MY covers, with his head on MY pillow.
So napping with Rocco has become a covert operation.
I have actually become adept at faking a trip to my closet, or feigning a look out the window, or pretending to fold laundry...or any diversionary tactic to distract Rocco from the bedroom. Then I jump into bed and quickly try to find MY comfortable position, before Rocco the Flying Dog leaps over Molly or anything else in his way to get onto the bed.
And if I don't get into bed before Rocco hears me, he will race into the bedroom, and become Rocco the Boneless Dog, jumping onto the bed, then completely collapsing and going limp, unwilling to move even one inch. Then he glares at me, giving me the "what the hell is wrong with you?" look.
Because to him, it's HIS bed. Rocco does not think that he is a dog.
But I guess we don't think he's a dog, either.
He has his own blog, for gosh sakes.

O M G, Part 2

The stove incident was my fault. I had heated up quesadilla's for breakfast, and the pan was still on the stove, with minuscule crumbs still on it.
Minuscule crumbs that my hungry hound found tempting. So when he jumped up to lick the pan, he somehow turned on a burner.
Completely my fault.
For once.

O M G

We spend alot of time trying to "Rocco Proof" the house.
We keep the kitchen garbage on the back porch. We keep things off the counters. We keep our shoes off the floor. We keep the bathroom soap out of reach and the toilet seat down.
We try our best to alleviate temptation in any form.
But we have hit a new level in our Rocco proofing journey.
Tuesday morning, after running a few errands, I walked in the house to hear a "tick...tick...tick" sound.
Hmmmmm, that sounds like the stove? OMG....THAT IS THE STOVE!
Rocco had managed to turn on a burner.
He could have burned himself, or burned the house down. He could have only turned on the gas and blew up our house, or our entire block.
Or he could have put on a saucepan with tomato soup and heated up my lunch.
I am online right now ordering "stove knob kid locks".
For my dog.

School Daze

Today my husband and I decided to surprise my niece by picking her up at school with Rocco and Molly. Her school is just a few blocks from my house, and it was a beautiful day. A walk with the dogs should have been a great idea.
Well, not so much.
We opened the front door and these two mellow dogs turned into race horses, literally dragging us down the street. They were CRAZED, each trying to walk faster than the other. I don't know where they thought we were going, but wherever it was, they were in a hurry to get there.
I was having flashbacks of my 6th grade 50-yard dash.
We actually had to walk them an extra 2-blocks to try to calm them down so they wouldn't scare the school kids.
By the time that my niece bounded out of school and saw us waiting for her, Molly (although tired and lounging on the sidewalk) had drooled so much she was foaming at the mouth. She looked like a crazed, rabid dog. Poor sweet Molly. The kids were terrified of her. And Rocco, although thankfully NOT drooling, scared them by his size alone.
Notice how no one is near us in the picture? They were crossing the street to get AROUND us.
Too funny!

Guess which one is correct....

....regarding the fork on the left.


A) This was an astonishing psychokinetic demonstration.

B) Uri Geller was in my kitchen.

C) Rocco took the fork out of the kitchen sink, licked off whatever food that remained, then proceeded chew the fork into a point.

Ummm, do you really need the correct answer?

Chasing Airplanes

Picture this....(well, you will have to, as I have no photo documentation today).
I just got home, and it's 7:15pm. It's just starting to get dark and I walk outside with Rocco. He immediately gets into his "stalking stance", complete with the hair on the back of his neck standing straight up. I start to think "Oh, no! I hope the possum isn't back!" and go into panic mode. A friendly neighborhood possum had been camping out in our back yard recently, and I was certain that it had found its way back to its summer home in our yard.
And then I noticed the Southwest Airlines plane in the sky. The airport is not far from our house, so we see lots of planes flying by everyday. But THIS plane was low enough and loud enough to invade Rocco's territory. He started to growl, then bark, then jump into the air on his two hind legs, trying to bite it. I had no camera, so you will have to take my word for it, but it was hilarious. My 100-lb protector, trying to fight off a 737, bound for parts, well, south west.
Now if he could just scare the possum off like he did the airplane.....

An open letter to Rocco

Dear Sweet Rocco Taco,
Today you are exactly 1-year and 2-days old. We love you very much, and truly appreciate your need to express yourself.
But here's the thing.
We KNOW you understand that you should not eat out of the garbage. I thought maybe after you consumed the old pizza slathered in Louisiana Hot Sauce you might get this concept, but as usual, your refined palate was unfazed.
We KNOW you understand that you should not chew on the furniture, walls or rugs. Oh wait, we have no more rugs because of you.
We KNOW you understand that you should not chew on Molly's ears, as they are still attached to Molly's head and she finds this distressing.
We KNOW you understand ALL the rules of the house, and we truly think you need to apply these practical applications to your daily life.
Because 1-year and 2-days later, I walked into the living room to discover you had eaten the toilet paper off the roll.
Again.

So my sweet baby Rocco, we just want to let you know, as lovingly as possible, that you need to
GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
With Love-
Your Mom

Happy 1st Birthday Rocco

The Nose Guard

Since football season is OFFICIALLY here (a fact my husband has brought to my attention many times this week) I thought I would post pictures of our own nose guard.
We cannot just pop in a movie, and get comfy on the couch without Rocco getting in our face. He doesn't like us watching TV....he wants us to pay attention to HIM.
Or else he will stare at us.





Get the picture?

The incredible, shrinking flip flops

My favorite flip flops seem to be getting smaller. It's incredible!
Oh wait. It's Rocco.